AndFarAway

A Blog from Amman, Jordan, Online Since 2004.

So, someone tell me: Why are males such assholes?



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21 Comments

  1. Amanidabbas

    Thank you for sharing this Roba ! Most of the statements there heard them before and hated the fact that i’m a female! 90% of the statements guys use are ugly and humiliating  i really don’t know how they are fine with saying it in public, its like they are thinking out loud, really very humiliating !

  2. Its in our hormones we cant help it :) 

    No really, dont generalize this as many behave in a good way and not all MALES are like that explicitly at least. 

  3. Agreed. It is very humiliating.

  4. I know it’s a generalization, but as a woman, I don’t care. It comes from most guys who are not in your “personal” circle.

  5. Enough males do it to be generalized as thus. Men are fucking assholes. I can’t let my wife do anything unless I’m with her because of harassment. Regarding hormones, there is a different between having urges and acting upon these urges. We’re all horny but the reason harassment comes about is due to men not controlling these urges due to reasons X and Y (an entirely different topic). Blaming hormones is a sad excuse to cover up weakness of will (almost as sad as blaming Satan).

  6. I know I dont defend the MALE notion here, I am just trying to say that it depends on how each one is educated at home and how the FEMALE notion is presented to him through his family and society. Unfortunately, many consider this as being in the COOL zone in front of his entourage. I think if he just put himself in her shoes and see how it feels like (And this never happens) then this phenomenon, if you want to call it that, would gradually disappear.  En bref, I am in support of your argument! 

  7. Hi Husam, 

    My hormones statement was a sarcastic joke that’s it, I am not giving an excuse! I am totally with you that verbal and even physical sexual harassment are on the rise and I think that the FEMALES are the reason behind this huge surging because they keep silence. If each FEMALE stops her harasser and make a scene around him then they will not do it next time. But unfortunately because of our societal taboos, it is considered a shameful act for a FEMALE to do that. So the harasser thinks that she is enjoying that as long as she is silent about it.   

  8. Aggressive, but I agree.

  9. Agreed on that too.

  10. Aseel

    The video is very powerful and well made!!

    I liked the video though i don’t appreciate the “I’m a defenseless woman” mentality who blames all men and the male-dominated societies for objectifying women and then go around crying “this man said this about my body and that man said that”.

    Every woman in this planet has the power and the strength in her to stand up and kick the man who harasses her just between his legs… He won’t be able to stand up. I believe all will support her and stand by her.

    Besides, there are men who are “assholes” but there are a lot of nice respectful men too.

    A lot to say on this matter.. but will leave it there.

    great post as always.

  11. Thank you Aseel. I agree that women need to grow some ovaries and start yelling at these assholes.

  12. Random Roller

    Yes, but when we do, we also potentially get ourselves into an unwanted situation where the said asshole will get aggressive. I know so many of my girlfriends who got into triggering confrontational situations, even though they had every right to call out on the aggressor’s assholery. Damn if we do. Damn if we don’t.

  13. Yeah, I wouldn’t advise with doing that either if it’s late, or if the street is empty. In such cases… RUN.

  14. why don’t we labor some Parliament guys to do something useful and make a law giving police the right to arrest such guys and through them on jail for a couple of days… the existence of such a law will make some of them fear at least. مش احنا شعب نخاف ما نختشيش 

  15. Damn, chill with a “total” hate :D But I get it, I know it’s bad where you’re at, I truly feel for you/others, I’m sure it’s revolting. Don’t take it, that’s for sure. There is a general unhealthiness when it comes to general relations between the sexes in MENA that are propagated by both (more so for older generations, and way more by males). Now, and this is true to my knowledge (but I know it still happens): I’ve been out and about in my home area a plenty throughout my life and I’ve never seen a woman sexually harassed. Groped, absolutely never; lewd comments or gesturing, can’t recall. Some mild things but even girls around here dish that out. I’m sure if I grew up elsewhere, would be different. Look, honking your car horn is something that people don’t often do here, totally rude, can easily get folks in a road rage tussle. But we don’t drive like prunes. And you let other motorists in line/yield to help out, say “hi” and “thank you” and smile at those times, hold doors, don’t cut in line, etc. Bad manners is what can lead to frowns or whatever, and plain vulgar sexual harassment would either elicit an intervention or just an ass kicking.

  16. I agree that some of the parliament guys are older versions of those assholes and they might be still doing it now :( 

    and i agree some police officers also a part of it but somebody must do something

    and Ruba, thank you for this post, after reading it i am conducting a non scientific survey on girls around me about this subject, and the result really shocked me… we must do something…. 

    i am a guy and i am really … 

  17. Dina Z

    For some time now, I’ve been seriously considering carrying a carton of eggs in my purse and egging the cars of those pathetic men who verbally harass me and other women from the comfort of their car. If every woman did this, Amman would be a stinkin’ mess and our poor chickens wouldn’t be able to keep up with the demand for eggs.

    But, who am I kidding? I once gave a group of men the middle finger after they yelled out some vile remarks at me from their car. I vividly remember being overcome with a sense of guilt afterwards. Society has put the onus on women to behave in a ‘classy’ manner regardless of the circumstance and I had overstepped those boundaries. 

    Sexual harassment, rape culture and the general disregard of women’s rights are systemic problems in Jordan. No amount of egg throwing can change that. It’s a complex issue, but we’re strong enough to tackle it. 

    We need to knock men off their high pedestals and remind them that they’re not the sole arbiters of morality! 

  18. That would bring the egg prices up, lol

    It should be as simple as this, each man should ask himself, what would be my reaction if someone said/did the same thing to my sister/mom.
    Unfortunately this analogy wouldn’t work in Jordan because many men would say this would never be happen to my sister/mom because she is good “mo7trameh”, which in other words equates to the girl they are harassing is bad. I am not sure what could be done here, most of men in the arab world needs a mind overhaul.

  19. I can’t seem to be able to access the video, do you mind posting another link, its saying this video is private!

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