Oscars Outfit Frenzy, 2010 Edition
Although I am neither into fashion nor into movies, my annual “Oscars Outfit Frenzy” post is one of the things I am ALWAYS looking forward to (Oscars Outfit Frenzy 2007, Oscars Outfits Frenzy 2008, Oscars Outfit Frenzy 2009).
And now, for the moment we’ve all been waiting for, Hollywood’s plastic wonder people. Presenting:
The Went-to-the-Oscars-
Drunk Group:
Exhibit A:
Do you recognize this couple? I certainly didn’t. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE HOT ANTONIO BANDERAS OF MY EARLY TEENS? And what the hell is Melanie Griffith wearing? Black sparkly shit is so passe. Honey, it’s not ’03 anymore.
Exhibit B:
Wait. I thought she died of a heart attack or a stroke or something a few months ago? Although you gotta admit this dress is the perfect choice for a walking-out-of-grave ensemble. The shape of the dress looks like a cape suitable for Dracula, and if not Dracula, then Morticia from The Addams Family. The sequins on the other hand are a whole different ballgame. Money can’t buy you style.
Exhibit C:
What the hell was Jennier Lopez THINKING? This dress is barf worthy. The material seems to be the same material they wrap fruits in, which when I think about, makes perfect sense. She looks like a wrapped pear.
Exhibit D:
Why people insist on wearing skin-colored, ruffled pieces of crap to the Oscars year after year is not something I can understand. Staying in line with the food analogies, doesn’t Demi Moore like like a pickled jar of ginger?
Exhibits E and F:
Absolutely no comment.
The Fire-Your-Stylist Group:
Exhibit A:
Cameron Diaz usually looks prettier, and she would have been, if the color of this dress looks more like a real color than a soot-covered distaster. Weird-ass fabric must be quite trendy this year.
Exhibit B:
“If you stare long enough, I might start looking like an awesome bullet-proof silver Chicka.”
No honey, you just look funny.
Exhibit C:
Although the shape of this dress is gorgeous, I can’t get over the colors. This is precisely the mix of colors that artists and little kids playing with playdough try their best to avoid. A murky combination of a mixture gone horribly, horribly wrong. Like this:
Exhibit D:
Meh. I never thought that the usually gorgeous Charlize Theron could possibly look so bad. Everything about this dress is wrong, from the fabric, to the color, to the little cup thingies. Even Katie Price pulled that Little Mermaid look better:
The Wow-You-Look-Good-
Tonight Group:
Exhibit A:
The purple, man, the purple. Purple is most definitely an underrated color. Although I have no idea who this Molly Ringwald person is, I absolutely love her look. She looks unique, the dress actually accentuates her figure, and the swirly thingies add spunk.
Exhibit B:
Robert Downey Jr. looks HOT. I LOVE the fact that he’s wearing sneakers. I LOVE his glasses. I LOVE his bright blue bow-tie. Man. I think I’m gonna start crushing on him.
Exhibit C:
Kristen Stewart looks both classy and elegant in her simple black dress. Hear that people? SIMPLE.
Exhibit D:
Hideous sandals aside, Meryl Streep wears her age and her dress with such charm that she probably wins best dressed in my book. Okay, after Robert Downey Jr.
Exhibit E:
You have to start at this dress for a minute to appreciate the fact that it’s actually very beautiful. At first, the colors are a bit shocking, but then you realize that Maggie Gyllenhaal actually looks stunning in it. It’s young, it’s different, and has tons of character.
Check out:
Oscars Outfit Frenzy 2007
Oscars Outfits Frenzy 2008
Oscars Outfit Frenzy 2009
Which of these dresses are your favorites? Who do you think looks the best and who looks the worst?
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