The Five Arab Guys You Should Never Date
Kabobfest have a really funny article on the 13 Arab men you should never date if you live in the US.
What about the Arab men you should never date while in the Arab world, and particularly, Amman?
1. The Nai Guy.
His idea of going out is always to a noisy, sweaty, smelly club. That’s where he functions best after all. You can usually find him on a VIP table in the most popular clubs in town, with a group of equally annoying, equally arrogant plastic-ites.
The club is his element. In any other instance and at any other place, he’s always hung over, unsocial, and just down right dumb. He also thinks of relationships as open, at least from his side.
What he’s usually wearing: jeans and a button-up shirt. Black shoes. Flashy phone. A hot girl. A car with a price tag that can build a house for 10 families. Always with a cigarette in his mouth.
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2. The “We need a 4th” Trix-Master.
What’s worse than dating a man whose ultimate idea of fun is lack of sobriety? Dating a man you’ll never see because his utmost loyalty is to his cards mates. Never, and I mean, never will he let them down when they need the 4th player to complete the circle. For that is treason.
Plus, he is a hard-core nicotine addict as all his games are spent smoking the argeeleh. For hours and hours and hours.
What he’s usually wearing: pointy shoes, a lot of gel on his hair, and a Honda Civic.
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3. School Cool Dude at 26.
Unless he’s studying medicine, getting another degree, or doing grad school, he really has no excuse to still be driving to his university’s campus if he is over 25.
Seriously. By this time, he is friends with everyone, from the guards at the gates to the coffee-boy in the Deanship of Student Affairs. He has cemented his status as a permanent facet to campus life, and he’s kind of proud of it.
What he’s usually wearing: a t-shirt, sunglasses that never ever go off, and a mod car, complete with shiny rims, flame stencils, and his number on the back window.
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4. The “Gabaday” Guy
The worst kind of the lot. He thinks he’s a tough ass when he’s generally just an ass. He looks for a fight no matter where he is, and his favorite activity is hanging out in that shady gym on Dowar AlDahkhleyeh. He is always so impressed with himself because his friends call him first whenever they feel like picking a fight with a random bunch of guys.
He thinks he’s so gangstah.
What he’s wearing: tight-ass jeans, hideous tattoos, and a thick silver necklace.
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5. The Daddy Brat
He comes from a rich family, he probably was at one of the best schools in town (read: Bakaloria, New English, Montessori, etc), and he knows that he has a ticket to richness thanks to daddy although he’s really, really stupid. He works somewhere nice, but doesn’t really do anything there. He drives a nice car that he changes every few months because he keeps totaling it up thanks to his insane driving. His weekends are spent in the family condo in Aqaba.
What he’s wearing: funky brands, expensive brands, and more brands.
So there you have it, the worst of the lot to date, at least in my personal opinion. Other types of guys I had on my list to stay away from but who didn’t make it to my top five:
1. The Ultra Geek who smells, dresses like my grandmother, and can only talk about PHP, Penguins, and Debian.
2. The Jesus/Mohammad kid. Enough said.
3. The Gulfian student who has never sat in the same room with a female who is not his mother, who only eats Kabsa, and who wears slippers in both winter and summer.
4. The artsy-fartsy loser who thinks he’s really, really cool, although he’s really just unemployed.
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