Honestly, it was much harder thinking of the women you should avoid than it was the men. Maybe because I’m female, but mostly because the main problems with women are more personal, and not as generalizable as those of men.
I guess our lists are similar though.
By popular demand, my advice to you, as a female:
1. The Chameleon
Her superpower is the ability to change her character depending on who she’s with, what she’s doing, and what sort of life she feels like leading. One day she’s dancing on tables at some club and the next day she’s a hijababe cause her new boyfriend prefers hijababes.
Unfortunately, I have noticed that females are a lot more likely than males in Amman to wear their personalities as the changing variable in their life.
The chances of her getting bored with you are as high as her chances of changing her scene.
How to spot her: As a game, ask her for 24 photographs of herself, one for every two months during the past four years. Enjoy.
2. Wedding Belle
She has dreamt of her big day her entire life, and her eyes are set on one goal: getting that dream to become reality. The man’s role in this formula is solely becoming her groom, she can’t be a bride without one, can she?
She realizes that there is no such thing as Prince Charming, and she has a nice, practical list of the attributes she’s looking for, with enough elbow room to navigate with those who might have just enough. A fantastic woman for the man who’s looking for the same thing, and who’s goal in life is domestication.
How to spot her: She collects snapshots of wedding dresses, has gone faux-ring-shopping before, and even has a playlist ready.
3. The One Monther
Even if she doesn’t date a lot, avoid her if her longest ever relationship was three months. She probably has the “what-else-is-out-there?” heebie-jeebies, always keeping her eye on the other fish in the sea. And there are many fish in the sea. You’re not the last, you’re not the best, and she knows that well.
How to spot her: You’ve known her for four years, in which you’ve met at least six of her different potential love interests.
4. Gym and Lettuce and Everything Polished
There’s a fine-line between a lady who takes care of herself and one who downright obsesses about it. She has no problem with eating forage three times a day, wearing her designer training suit twice a day to the gym, and spending a good hour at the hairdresser every morning to perfect her tresses. All the energy that she fuels into looking good is a sad excuse for feeling good.
How to spot her: If she spends more than five hours a day trying to feel better about herself, usually a combination of: gym-time, salad-munching, and hair-doing.
5. The Drama Mama.
A person you need to avoid like the plague not just when it comes to dating, but even when it comes to friendship. The Drama Queen is the most annoying character ever.
A few dates down the line, she will be bawling her eyes out in the middle of dinner at a crowded restaurant because she feels like you don’t love her.
While she may provide temporary amusement, the roller coaster of emotion is not something anyone can stand for over a few weeks. She will make your life miserable.
How to spot her: At first site. Drama Queens lurveee uncalled for attention. It might be the make-up, the outfit, the attitude. Steer clear.
The short list of other types of girls you should avoid:
1. The Dinarian. She won’t date you if you don’t have a nice car, won’t indulge her fancy-shmancy taste in everything, and if you don’t get her nice stuff every now and then.
2. The Barbie. God blessed her with good looks but no brains. An airhead by all measures, she doesn’t know anything about anything.
3. The One Who’s Never Dated. She’s either lying, under 14, or you’re really special.
4. The Insecurity Problems. Well, unless you want to spend the rest of your life trying to make up for her lack of self-esteem.
So there, now you have a nice list of top 10 men and ladies to avoid.