Nothing much has changed since last year. I didn’t watch the Oscar-nominated bunch of movies for 2008, and I didn’t hear of 96% of them either (though for honesty’s sake, I did watch and love Ratatouille). I also do not watch the Oscars in my life, as I cannot think of anything more boring to kill a few hours of my year on [Oscar surprise face].
While I might not care for who grabbed an Oscar, I do love to see what the happy, shiny people wore to the red carpet. It always proves the same old something; if you don’t have taste, you really can’t work it together, no matter how many stylists style you, how much money you have, if its Gucci or Chanel, or how many Oscars line up your shelf at home.
And now for Hollywood’s plastic wonder people…
The Went-to-the-Oscars-Drunk Group:
I’m afraid I have no idea who this is, but it doesn’t matter, because she’s trying to look like a MERMAID. I hope she keeps this dress for next year’s Halloween party, because I haven’t seen anyone dressed as Little Mermaid in a while.
Check out the green lady behind her too, who’s dressed out like a little teacup. I know Disney had some limelight yesterday with they’re brilliant Ratatouille, but that is not a good enough excuse to have a communal Disney-themed Oscar night.
This is definitely the worst outfit I have ever seen. She looks like Paris Hilton’s pocket-pooch dressed up. The shoes too. What the hell was she thinking.
This marks my ultimate Oscar upset. The usually well-dressed Penelope Cruz absolutely looks witchy in this frumpy outfit. It looks more like an abaya with cut-off shoulders and the scarf wrapped around her waist belly-dancer style. Eww.
A cross between a garbage-bag and bride of death is never a good idea, Tilda Swinton, whoever you are.
I’m sort of getting depressed at how ugly this year’s dresses are. What’s up with the gloves lady?!
Arabian-nights meets Elizabeth Taylor. Haha. Check out her shoes too. They have BUCKLES on them.
The fabric guy at Soo2 IlTelyan downtown called. Now that you’re done with his fabric, he wants it back.
Wow, I’m HYPNOTIZED.
The Fire-Your-Stylist Group:
What are my grandmother’s curtains doing in the Oscars?
What. The. Hell. Is. Jessica. Alba. Wearing.
That’s just a worse version of Jessica Alba’s dress. It reminds me of
the display mannequins of Indian tailors in Riyadh, especially with the
rest of the fabric trailing down like that.
The Cruella Deville look was never cool.
Is she pregnant? If she is, then this dress isn’t that bad. If she’s
not, then it is. Regardless, I totally hate the jewelery-thingy-collar.
Not hideous, but it is frumpy. Is frumpiness fashionable this year or what..?
The Wow-You-Look-Good-Tonight Group:
And no, not because it’s red, although that might give it some points. It drapes her body gorgeously.
I put this here because I think Cate Blanchett worked great with her pregnancy. She looks elegant and comfortable. I like that.
I can’t figure out if this is “Could have done better” or “You look gorgeous”, but it’s certainly pretty. Especially when compared to the rest.
I don’t know why Renee Zellweger always looks the same. But this is a nice dress on her anyway.
It’s orange, but it’s pretty. I think it’s my favorite Oscar dress.
Keisha Whitaker obviously changed her stylist. She actually looks very good this year- very elegant in an understated way.
Who do you think looks the best and who looks the worst?