The Church of Google
There seems to be a lot of new religions coming up these days, the latest of which is the Church of Google :D
From the homepage,
Gods are typically defined by their unique attributes, such as being all-knowing, all-seeing, ever present, the ability to answer prayers, being immortal, remembering all, and of course Deities must “do no evil”. Google exhibits all of these characteristics perfectly. In the absence of imaginary, supernatural beings, Google is certainly the closest thing humankind has to a true God.
So if Google is God, who is Satan? They say, “Good question, but the answer should be obvious. Satan is quite simply Microsoft.”
What is the Google Trinity? They say, “The Google Trinity consists of the Internet, Google Search Engine and the Web Browser (Such as Firefox, Opera & Safari but NEVER Internet Explorer) Alone they are nothing, but combined they form a powerful entity.”
Is there a Google afterlife? They say, “By uploading our thoughts and opinions onto the internet, we live on in Google’s cache even after our death.”
Ultimately, and most importantly, What is the purpose of Googlism? They say, “The main purpose of Googlism is to promote the spread of knowledge through the use of Google. There is nothing on earth that connects people with the knowledge they desire so fast and effectively than Google. We believe in the cliché “knowledge is power”, and so should you.”
They even have their own 10 Commandments, of which my favorite are
- Thou shalt remember each passing day and use thy time as an opportunity to gain knowledge of the unknown.
- Thou shalt honor thy fellow humans, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or race, for each has invaluable experience and knowledge to contribute toward humankind.
- Thou shalt not misspell.
- Thou shalt not plagiarise or take undue credit for others work.
