Hey Summer – Where Art Thou?

The weather in Jordan is one of the few amazing things about living in Jordan, so uncharacteristically chilly whether in the END OF JUNE is really not cool. Where’s the heat at, yo?

And yes. This is post is like a space filler. Or a placeholder. I feel guilty that I haven’t been consistently blogging, but I don’t have much to say these days.

Except about the weather.

The weather is awful, I tell you, awful.

13 degrees is just not cool even in Spring. What the hell. I want to sit in the garden at night, and I want to sleep with my windows open, and I want to wear a skirt.

Yalla, summer?

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The real reason why Jordanians are so angry all the time

The ugly white neon lights that everyone insists on using in their homes.

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The End of Reading

Books seem endless, don’t they? And books are endless, I guess. There are always new books being written, authors self publishing, new ideas coming up.

The non-romantic truth though is that the majority of books are crap. Achieving the mastery of writing is no easy task, and a fantastic book is harder to find than an authentic Gutenberg Bible. So, good books are quite limited, and very celebrated.

Unfortunately for myself, I can now say that I’ve read to the end of my favorite genre… science fiction and fantasy.

The end came as the result of a systematic ravaging of the genre. I’ve gone through many, many lists, and read the books listed title by title. NPR’s 100 Best Fantasy and Science Fiction books. Hugo Award winners and runners up. Nebula Award winners. Random lists on Amazon and GoodReads. Random recommendations.

Around the end of last year, I reached the last few “Popular” titles that I’ve left to the end of my genre journey, and for the most part, they have been consistently crap.

How the hell do you go back to reading “normal” books when you’ve spent a decade with astronauts, elves, and alien races?

I don’t know.

And I’m really sad.

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On May

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Keep Makan’s Doors Open

Makan is one of my favorite spaces in Jordan.

Help keep their doors open by supporting them on Zoomall.


Have you ever been depressed?

I have never been depressed in my life.

It’s true.

Sure, I’ve felt miserable before. Like the time my father died when I was 23. I thought the world was going to end. For a while, it was impossible for me to fathom that things were ever going to be okay, and I felt absolutely terrible. But I was okay in the end. It wasn’t just that once either. I’ve cried many times over the fact that life is unfair, and I’ve gotten angry at the impossibility of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ve made bad choices and bad decisions that affected my life negatively for long stretches of time. And circumstances can be depressing too. These days, for example, I’ve lost my will to write, because I’m frustrated with the disgusting situation in the Arab world.

I’ve had many bad days, yes.

But that’s not depression. That’s just life.

I’ve seen real depression on others. I’ve seen what it does to people, the way it holds them down. I’ve seen my friends change completely, I’ve seen all remnants of logic shatter in perfectly logical people. I’ve seen people who can’t see white when its blazing in their face. People who are drowning in shallow water, who are suffocating in open air.

I’ve seen it, but I don’t know what that feels like.

In every bad experience I’ve ever had, I was always able to logically see through the situation. I always knew that things will be okay again, because that’s the nature of life. I always bounded back very quickly, stronger than before. I didn’t have to make any effort either. I’m just that kind of person. That kind of lucky person.

My parents are my lucky charms. Aside from the wonderful childhood they gave us, they also passed along good genes. My serotonin transporter gene, namely.

You see, depression is a disease. It is a biological disease no different than any other disease. It kills you slowly, painfully, and horribly. It’s genetics.

If you know someone who is suffering from depression, do not take things lightly. If you are suffering from depression, seek some help.

Here’s a video that explains the biology of depression:

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